The Forgotten Files
by HarunoRin
Summary: Joint Project with x-Giggles-x and me. As promised to readers of "meeting the family..." we finally see the cases that most of SPR would rather forget. Lin and Yasuhara dig up the dirt on our favourite characters... heh heh heh. hints at pairings.
1. To London From Shibuya with love

**(DISLAIMER) Neither Giggles nor I own Ghost hunt... if we did, we'd have told you by now. Believe me.**

**Hi again! To readers of "Meeting the Family of Mai Taniyama" and to those who haven't read it... (glare) why not? It kicks ass! lmao I kid, I kid, but seriously, you'll love it (laugh)**

**Now get reading!**

* * *

12th October.

It has recently come to my attention that many files containing details about some of the more minor cases have not been correctly filed and stored, copied and furthermore sent to the head branch of SPR in London.  
The latter problem can be easily attributed to the fact that Oliver Davis' part-time assistant, one Mai Taniyama, is unaware of Mr and Mrs M. Davis and their involvement in the running of "Shibuya Psychic research".  
The fact that the incidents have been incorrectly catalogued and preserved, is also, most probably, the work of Miss Taniyama. The girl is... vibrant and a valuable asset but she lacks the rigidity of the part time workers employed under Martin Davis in London.  
Some cases, however, are probably not included in the files sent to Martin and Luella Davis because Oliver, not Mai, has chosen to "accidentally" lose the final reports. This is probably due to the fact that some of the above mentioned cases have been of a more embarrassing nature (I refer you to File #10 or 'The Hidden Desires' as named by Takigawa Houshou, in which two of our members were discovered to be the reincarnations of two past lovers.)  
I have recruited Yasuhara Osamu to detail and re-write the missing files.

Koujo Lin.

P.S. Martin- next time you call your son make sure to take the time difference into account. We both know that Noll never answers the phone because he bloody well knows I'll do it if he leaves it long enough. Answering calls at 5 in the morning when I fall asleep at 4-30 isn't a pleasant experience sir.  
Luella- The cookies and cakes you keep sending are always delicious, but Noll is getting tired of Mai's questions every time heart-shaped confectionary is sent to his door. Please try to choose more generic styles of decoration. (The bright pink valentine's cake was more than enough to provoke questions) And for the last time, NO, Mai is not pregnant with Noll's baby yet. They aren't even dating!!  
Madoka- Stop phoning me! I know how to take care of myself and I don't need a phone call every five minutes and a visit in person every month! Also, stop talking about the new boyfriend. I don't want to know.

Kind regards, Koujo.

* * *

**Short to be fair, It's only a prologue. Click "review" and also that nice little "story alert" because... you don't want to miss what's coming up next... xD**

**Do you like... cats?**


	2. The one with the kittens

**(Note from Lin)- I remember this case, it was the first time I'd seen the great Oliver Davis actually embarrass himself so completely in front of his employees.**

**(Note from Yasuhara)- I wasn't there... why wasn't I there? Lin, did you not _invite _me? I'm hurt!! Well this is something I found lying around on Mai-chan's desk (cough _diary_ cough) but I couldn't find anything about it in Naru's journal... the entry for this case was 'waste of time'...**

* * *

Dear Diary,  
We got a new customer today! A nice, professional looking man in his thirties, who had been hearing scratching and crying from inside his walls. His cat would disappear for a few hours at a time at regular hours, and his baby boy had scratches on his arms, but can't speak to tell his parents how he got hurt. Naru did accept the case when he heard about the baby, but I think he would have declined if I hadn't started crying when the man showed us pictures...  
Stupid Narcissist!!  
Ugh! I hate him sometimes!! But he makes up for it when he saves me... (Sigh)  
ANYWAY we went round to the house with Lin-san, Takigawa, Ayako and John (Masako's still in America for her special publicity show and Yasuhara's got a university paper in soon.) When we got there and set up the equipment, I fell asleep again! I dreamed about being trapped behind a wall and that really freaked me out...  
**(3rd person)**  
"Naru!" Mai shouted as she sat upright, sweating. That had been _scary... _She'd been stuck behind the wall and she could hear laughing on the other side... how horrible!  
Naru raised an eyebrow. "Mai. I don't pay you to-"  
"Sleep, yes I know! But I dreamed that I was trapped behind the wall!"  
"... What?" He muttered, and then the customer ran inside.  
"The cat's back!!" He said, holding up the black, slightly tubby feline. "And the crying has started!"  
"Lin." Naru ordered, and the onmyou-ji nodded, turning up the sound on the monitors. Mai gasped and Naru paled as the mournful cries of children filled the room. "Oh my god..." He whispered, and Takigawa frowned. Ayako groaned and looked on the verge of tears as John bowed his head in prayer.  
"What can we do?" Mai asked, and Naru clenched his fist.  
"May we have permission to look inside the wall?" He asked, and the customer nodded.  
"As long as you pay for damages..." He gulped as Naru glared. "...Uh... don't worry about it actually. It's fine..." He smiled and Naru smirked.  
"Lin, Takigawa, John."  
"We're always the ones breaking through walls..." Takigawa grumbled but followed Naru anyway.  
Ayako raised an eyebrow. "Gone to be all macho-manly again. What is it with men and breaking things?"  
Mai giggled slightly. "I think Lin is the only one who can be 'macho-manly'. Naru's way too much of a pretty boy, Bou-san's more like a clown and John's...well..." She stopped and looked at Ayako.  
"John?" Ayako added thoughtfully.  
"Yeah...I guess we should go check it out..."  
As they entered the room with the crying children, Mai frowned. "From here it doesn't sound so...painful..."  
"Or child like." John nodded, picking up a sledge hammer. Safe to say, innocent John with a large and deadly work tool caused a rather funny sight.  
Lin rolled his eyes at the pair and pressed his ear against the wall, wrapping on it with his fist. A look of surprise crossed his features.  
"Lin, move."  
Lin turned around just in time to see his young charge swinging his own sledge hammer at the exact spot his head was. With a muttered curse he jerked himself back and the group collectively winced at the sound of metal against drywall.  
"Naru...you probably shouldn't-"  
Lin's warning was cut off by another thud, accompanied by a large hole in the wall. The crying grew louder and Naru reluctantly - as reluctantly as the Great Kazuya Shibuya/Oliver Davis/Naru/Noll's ego would allow at least, which let's face it, wasn't very much - reached his hand into the hole, withdrawing it with a shout.  
"Something...licked me..." He trailed off as Lin put his hand in the hole and pulled out...  
"A kitten?" Mai asked in shock.  
John poked his head into the hole. "Actually a whole litter of kittens..."  
"So you're saying..." Bou-san was hiding laughter, quite badly, in fact. "That Naru took a case because of kittens in the wall? And got scared because a _kitten_ licked his hand!"  
By now he wasn't even trying to conceal his laughter, and was now doubled over.  
"Takigawa, if you wish to keep your job with SPR I suggest you shut up." Naru barked before storming out the room. His exit would have been much more dramatic if it wasn't for two reasons. 1) It was hard to be intimidating when you had just metaphorically wet your pants because of a kitten and 2)...Mai could have _sworn_ he was pouting...

* * *

**(Note** **from Lin)- Mai seemed to find that case amusing... She kept giggling in the van on the way back. Noll wasn't too pleased about it though. I wonder if he was really pouting. Madoka- I know you're probably holding your phone in your hand dialling Noll's number as Martin reads this aloud, but please don't tease Noll... after all... there are much more _interesting_ cases further on for you to tease him about.**

**(Note from Yasuhara)- Are you thinking about the case when Naru found out Mai had more fans than him? Or when he burst into song? 'Cause both were fantastic.**


	3. The one where they get bored

**(Lin's note)- This was one of Mai's early cases wasn't it? She seemed to enjoy the case but I suppose her 'exploits' were just to entertain herself... Though the 'nosebleed game' was a little... tasteless...**

**(Yasuhara's note)- Personally I loved reading this extract from Mai's Diary... Uh I mean report... (He he) I wish I'd been there; things could have gotten so interesting!**

When Mai joined SPR she thought it would be exciting.  
It really wasn't.  
Of course, she knew the office work would make her feel like she should just slit her wrists with the MOUNDS of paper work she was meant to file per day.  
But she thought the cases would be fun.  
Oh sure some were. Well maybe not 'fun' but at least it gave them something to do.  
But some were stupid.  
Like the one she was on now.  
Some woman claimed that her _modest _25 bedroom house - _mansion _- was haunted.  
It wasn't, they were pretty sure after around 5 minutes but the pay was good. And Naru decided he needed knew cameras. And they got a bonus for every night they stayed at the house.  
By day three, Mai had already done all her school assignments for the next 4 weeks, made up many humorous songs such as 'Ayako and the evil make up' (_Ayako had some make up, she used it when she waked up, one day it was evil, lalalala, yeh baby evil!_) and 'Bou-san's a wannabe rocker' (_Bou-san wanted to rock, but he really couldn't because of his socks. Yeh his socks were pretty lame. It really was a shame.) _but after trying to get the group singing along with a classic rendition of 'Ring-around-a-Bou-san', she had to stop upon a threat of 'If you sing one more tune I'm going to lock you in a room with Bou-san and a karaoke machine.' courtesy of Naru.  
So songs were right out of it.

So later when Naru turned to Masako and said: "Hara-san. Can you sense anything?" Mai proceeded to jump in front of him - wearing an oversized bathrobe - and closed her eyes before fainting and claiming "There are so many evil and vengeful and cranky spirits here! Hold me Naru!" much to Ayako, Bou-san's and even Johns amusement. Masako didn't look happy at all though.  
After a while though, being Masako was boring so Mai wrapped herself in a black curtain - claiming to be Bou-san' - and romantically proposed to Ayako: "Yah wanna meh-be go do a lil' summat-summat later baby girl?"  
Alas, her Bou-san imitation was short lived due to Ayako elbowing her in the stomach and Bou-san lunging at her.  
When she was John, she put a yellow rag over her head - for his blonde hair - and walked around throwing her bottle of water over any one and anything that moved claiming: "Yeh! How do you like that! Yeh that's holy water! The power of Christ compels you!" in a rather poor imitation of his accent, then started yelling 'CRIKEY!' and 'G'DAY MATE!' to anyone walking past.  
After a brief stunt of being Ayako, which was actually rather fun as she just wore lots of make up and started talking to the potted plants (_Aren't woo the cutest wittle plant! Wes woo are!) _She had to stop because the Miko threatened to poke one of her eyes out with her long nails - one eyed Mai? So not fun.  
She had lots of fun being a more talkative version of Lin though - he didn't really seem to mind - which basically meant she went around doing non-stop whistling before sending her 'Shiki' - bits of rope she would hit people with - out to maul stuff..._mainly Bou-san_...but some other stuff too. (But mainly Bou-san.)  
She came to a halt when Mr Grumpy Pants aka the high and mighty Naru, wouldn't lend her his black coat and little note book to be him. So she settled with copying everything he said - with her own additions of course.  
"Stop that."  
(_Stopthatmyhairneedsmoregel_)  
"Stop that."  
(_Stop__that!__IlovemyselflookathowprettyIam!)_  
"Mai..."  
(_Mai. Doyouthinkitwouldbepossibletohavemyownbabies?_)  
"Mai. I swear if you don't-"  
(_I'm putting on my serious face. See? __**Very**__ serious. This is my serious face. Do you notice how serious my face is? It's very, very serious. In fact if I was any more serious I'd be called Serious McSerious and live in Seriousville with a dog called seriou-)_  
"MAI! Shut. Up!"  
She was tempted to yelled 'Mai! Like totally shut up! Kawaii!!' In an extremely high pitched and girly scream but stopped herself as she noticed that nasty vain on his forehead that appeared when he was about to kill something. Or Mai.

So by day 5 - the imitation game lasted a day and a half - she was bored again. Luckily though, Bou-san was as well so she had someone to occupy her time with as long as the monk stayed stupid - 25 years and still going strong.  
First up was the 'How many nose bleeds can Mai give the male SPR members' game, which entailed:

Mai 'accidently' walking into the base in her 'pyjama's - which was a pair of short shorts and a strappy vest top. One nose bleed, a la John.

Somehow getting Naru, John and Lin to break into Mai's room when she was only in a small towel, (Mai did not agree with this one). Two nose bleeds a la Lin and John - three if you include the nose bleed Bou-san got from Mai punching him later.

And finally, having Naru walk in on Mai in nothing but her underwear. One nose bleed - and a painfully tight pair of pants - a la Naru.

After that got boring, they decided to play 'Slaps', a painfully fun game where both players stand/sit opposite each other, their hands out in front of them in a horizontal praying position, the tips of their fingers touching each other and then the person who starts has to move one hand quickly and slap the knuckles of the other person, but if they were too slow, the other person could move their hands away.  
It was a game of skill, of tact, of wit, of-

**SLAP**

"OWWWWWWWWW."

It was a game of intense pain.  
"Hahahaha! Bow down to my super quick reflexes!" Mai taunted as Bou-san rubbed his hand and held back tears. Whereas Mai's hand was only a faint pink, Bou-san's was a glowing red.  
"I just don't wanna hit a girl." Bou-san muttered weakly.  
"Yeh right!" She grinned and held out her hands again. "Another round?"  
"NO! Let's do something else."  
"Such as?"  
They both thought hard.  
Then Mai got a grin that could only be described as clinically insane.

"Whooooooooo!"  
Lin looked up at monitor 14 - why did they even have cameras when the house wasn't haunted? He swore Naru just wanted a vacation but was too proud to say so - and was mildly shocked to see a two figures clad in white bed sheets with holes cut out for the eyes moving around on the screen.  
"I am the ghost of bad hair days!" A feminine voice echoed through the microphones. "Watch out Ayako!"  
The red haired Miko looked over Lin's shoulder with a raised eyebrow.  
"Is that...Mai and Bou-san wearing sheets?"  
Lin's only answer was a sigh.  
"And I am the ghost of emo's who desperately need to get laid! Naruuuuuuuuuuuu...you will end up like me!"  
Naru, who was only watching with faint annoyance out the corner of his eyes suddenly snapped around to face the monitors with a glare as Lin stifled a laugh.  
"John. Go and get those idiots."  
The blond nodded weakly and left the room. The remaining group - Lin, Ayako, Naru and Masako - watched on as John entered the room.  
"Eh...Shibuya-san wants you back at base."  
"CRIKEY!"  
"Mai Erm...not all Australians talk like that."  
"Hehehe G'day mate?"  
"Or like that."  
There was a loud sigh and Mai pulled the bed sheet off her head pouting. "I thought it was accurate."  
"I know you did, Mai." John sighed and shrugged. "But Naru's annoyed with you both now."  
Takigawa giggled. "Hehe I thought my ghost was pretty accurate too..."  
In the Base room Lin snorted and rubbed his temples. "Sorry Naru..." He muttered, and looked up at Ayako's smirk as the dark haired teen scowled childishly.  
"They are immature and childish. I have no time for them." He muttered, and went into the bathroom.  
He pretended not to hear Ayako's giggle and snide remark. Something about 'not minding when he walked in on Mai during the nosebleed game'.  
Lin made no such pretence, and he couldn't hold in his laughter anymore, clutching his stomach as Mai, John and Takigawa walked in, much to Mai's glee and Takigawa's evident joy.  
Naru whirled round and crossed his arms. "Lin, tell the customer that we've successfully exorcised the spirit. We're done here." He glared at the occupants of the room, daring them to say anything.  
Mai couldn't resist it.  
She physically couldn't.  
"So the holiday's over?" She smiled, and Naru's eyes widened. "Oh well, I suppose even you need a holiday now and then Naru."  
He turned and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him.  
"Was it just me...?" John murmured, smiling softly as everyone turned to look at him. "...Or was Shibuya-san blushing?"  
"Nosebleed game." Takigawa smirked. "Mai, fancy trying an office version when we get back?"  
"Why not." She laughed. "I get tired of making tea."


	4. The one where Mai and Masako remember

**(Lin's note)- This case wasn't recorded by Mai or Noll, it was one that Yasuhara and I remembered, and recorded. SPR was called to an old hot spring where two lovers were rumoured to have met in secret before being murdered by one of their spouses.**

**(Yasuhara's note)- Man this case was awesome. The look on everyone's faces was priceless! I love possessions...**

The hot spring looked, in one word, amazing.

"Wow!" Mai squealed, as she had at the last venue and the one before that... Naru sighed and walked ahead of her.

"Mai. The cameras need setting up."

"... Jerk." She muttered, and smiled ruefully at Lin who handed her some of the lighter boxes. "Thanks Lin-san." She sighed gratefully and the monk slapped Lin on the back.

"Dude, be careful, that's Naru's girl and you know it!"

Masako's silent death glare as she passed the group was enough to silence even the normally chipper (**Yasuhara- And not to mention **_**handsome!**_**)** Yasuhara. The petite doll-like girl glided on and proceeded into the main foyer of the onsen resort.

Mai stared after her and rolled her eyes as John got out of the van and raised one eyebrow inquiringly. "She really doesn't like me..." Mai sighed in defeat and Yasuhara nodded sympathetically.

"It would seem so." He smiled.

"Do you sense anything?" Naru asked, and the tiny medium put a hand to her head dramatically, earning a slight narrow-eyed glare from Mai.

"Oh it's awful... two lovers separated by their families' expectations!" Masako murmured and then her eyes widened. "Oh..."

At exactly the same moment Mai put a hand over her eyes and stumbled a little bit. "Uh..."

Mai was sure she was in a dream. Why else would she suddenly be beside a hot spring when before she was in the Base room.

"Mai?"

She turned in shock to see Masako standing next to her.

"Why...is this a vision of yours?"

Mai nodded with a frown. There was only one other time Masako had been in her vision and that was on the Urado case, when Mai had actually dream-projected herself.

"Do...do your visions normally have people who you know in them?"

Mai shook her head, wondering where Masako was going with this.

"Then why are we over there?"

Mai turned in shock to see an image of herself and Masako holding hands across the other side of the hot spring. Their mirror images hair was longer than now; pulled into delicate buns and both were wearing simple sleeping kimonos.

"I thought the ghosts were meant to be lovers..." Mai trailed off noticing the looks her look-a-like was giving Masako's look-a-like. Suddenly the pair was locked in a tight embrace, kissing passionately, Masako's hands untying Mai's kimono sash quickly. "Oh!"

Both real girls span around blushes on their faces, trying to ignore the soft moans coming from their counterparts.

"I can't believe it..." Masako murmured. "THIS is what you dream about?"

Mai flushed red and growled at the smug-looking medium. "Don't be stupid. What the hell is going on here? Those two look just like us!"

"I've heard of this before... I think..." Masako seemed to take a deep breath to compose herself before looking Mai dead in the eye. "We might be them reincarnated."

Mai clamped her mouth shut and frowned. "Holy-"

The two girls looked at each other and broke into wide smiles. Mai welled up and rushed forward to take Mai's hand. "I thought I'd never see you again... When I was told we'd both had husbands arranged..."

"These aren't lovers..." Ayako smirked. "Obviously they were childhood friends as girls and arranged marriage meant that they were separated."

Masako smiled and caressed Mai's cheek gently. "I was so distraught..." She kissed the other girl on the forehead and hugged her tightly.

"Why do I feel like we're in an alternate dimension?" Yasuhara smirked, and turned to the boy on his left. "Naru? What do you make of the situation between your fangirls?"

Naru glared at him and ordered Lin to make notes. "Are you two sisters?" He asked the two possessed girls.

"Oh god no." Mai laughed.

Masako looked at Mai in a way that was normally reserved for pre-teen girls looking at their idols. "Sasuki is...the love of my life."

With that, every face in the room went into shock - even Naru and Lin's (**Lin's note - I was not shocked. I was simply...startled.) **- As Mai bent down the two inches that separated them and kissed Masako lovingly. On the mouth.

Bou-san looked like he was torn between cheering them on - what red blooded male doesn't like a bit of girl on girl action? - And pulling them apart. John simply turned an interesting shade of scarlet, with a dash of purple and looked at the oh-so-very interesting wall - really! Who ever thought of putting cream and mint together as a colour scheme was a genius! - Ayako doubled over, trying to hold in her laughter, Yasuhara's grin had turned irrevocably large and his cell phone could be heard snapping pictures - to be sold to the tabloids for a high price '_Masako Hara, top female medium in Japan, closet lesbian! '- _Lin simply stared in shock and Naru looked as if his world was dissolving in front of him. The two girls who fawned over him were...kissing?

When the pair finally separated, both had a rosy blush on their cheeks and their eyes practically glowed with love.

"How though?" Masako asked, her arms still wrapped around Mai's shoulders.

"Fate." Mai replied pulling Masako closer by the waist. "We'll never be apart again!"

"John." Naru snapped and the blond in question pulled his eyes away from the wall - the very, very, _very_ interesting wall - and looked at his boss, his face now a strange shade of pink. "Can you exorcise the spirits?"

John nodded and pulled his robes, holy water and Bible out of his bag before leaving the room to change.

The group watched as he left then turned back to the girls who were once more in a passionate kiss - this time with more groping and noises.

"And _hurry!"_ Lin called as he intercepted them from moving into the small room that was off the base.

After the exorcism, just before both spirits left the bodies of Mai and Masako, they kissed once more. It took five seconds of the girls standing still before they jumped back blushing profusely.

"Do you remember anything?"

The girls looked at each other then at Yasuhara, who had asked the question, both answering quickly and defensively.

"NO!"

"Let's not talk about it though." Mai added in quickly.

"Yes, no need to. I don't sense them anymore! Let's clean up!" Masako hurried, actually picking up some cables, which was unusual in itself as she never helped with the equipment.

Although just before they left, Yasuhara was walking past the base, and heard the girls talking in hushed tones. So of course (**Yasuhara note - being the smart and great guy I am!)** listened in.

"Masako...do you remember..."

"Yes."

Silence reigned for a few moments.

"Erm...you have a very nice...waist?"

"Thank you Mai. Your collarbones were particularly...Erm...pretty?"

"Thanks."

Silence once more.

"We never speak of this again, right?"

"Agreed."

**Lin note - I'm fairly sure they never did talk of it again. Naru seemed to act as if the case never happened.**

**Yasuhara note - I know he did. I never even got paid for that case. But the blackmail material made it all worth it. And have you noticed any time Mai and Masako are anywhere near each other they blush?**

**Lin note - Yes.**


	5. The one where Mais more famous than Naru

**(Lin)- This just turned up on my laptop when we went to that hot spring... I can only assume it was sure to the paranormal activity in that area... apparently a load of men were peeking and there was a massive fight...**

**(Yasuhara)- Madoka! You'll love this! Naru... LAUGHED!! **

"Guys...ghost...hunters...here..." A male spirit, now known as ghost #1, yelled panting.  
He looked around the room where around 20 ghosts-mostly male-sat.  
"Really?" Ghost #2 asked looking worried.  
"Yeh...but get this!" Ghost #1 grinned. "You'll never guess who's with them!"  
"Who?" Ghost #13 asked curiously from where she sat thinking up gruesome and horrible ways to kill people with a butter knife. Ghost #13 never really was that smart in life, and in death, her brains had gotten worse. Hence the reason she was planning on killing people with a butter knife.  
"You ready?" Ghost #1 grinned. "Mai Taniyama!"  
Suddenly there was an uproar of ghosts-male and female alike. Needless to say, due to the fact that THE Mai Taniyama, every ghosts dream victim, was here, they all started screaming like vapid Toshiro Hitsugaya fangirls.  
"Really?! THE Mai Taniyama??"  
"OMG! IS SHE AS CUTE AS THEY SAY SHE IS?"  
"DO YOU THINK SHE'D KICK ME?"  
"Eh...Ghost #7...you're dead. She can't kick you." Ghost #3 rolled her eyes. Sometimes it was hard being a female ghost. And the fact the only other female ghost in this place was Ghost #13 aka 'idiot whose murder weapon of choice is a butter knife' didn't help her much.  
"I could possess someone around her!" Ghost #7 pouted crossing his arms.  
"I call the meeting to order!" Ghost #3 yelled over the still excited crowd of spirits before her. "Right. How are we going to deal with Mai Taniyama?"  
"Haunt her dreams?" Ghost #11 spoke up.  
"No duh Sherlock!" Ghost #5 rolled his eyes. "It's mandatory that we haunt her dreams! You're not a proper ghost until you've haunted Mai Taniyama's dreams."  
"We could just...stare at her." Ghost #20 suggested. "Like, threw the windows..."  
"Right!" Ghost #3 nodded. "Any other ideas?"  
"We should possess someone...a guy!" Ghost #19 said snapping his ghostly fingers. The result was, of course, a snap. But ghostly snap.  
"Yeah and then claim Mai is our reincarnated lover and kidnap her." Ghost #10 nodded enthusiastically. "That's always fun to do!"  
"But...Mai isn't the reincarnation of any of our lovers!" Ghost #15 said, as clueless as usual. In the brains department, he was coming up just ahead of Ghost #13.  
"They don't know that! We can just pretend that or something." Ghost #19 sighed at his fellow spirits lack of grey matter. "Since it was my idea, I should possess someone!"  
"Go for the one with glasses." Ghost #3 ordered. "He has no spiritual powers so it'll be the easiest and quickest. Any other ideas?"  
"LET'S STAB HER WITH A BUTTERKNIFE!"

Mai sighed sitting at the desk in base. She stretched her arms over her head, unknowingly turning on her 'I'm so cute, attack me now, pretty please' neon sign.  
It wasn't really Mai's fault ghosts were obsessed with her. She couldn't help it. She was just so adorably adorable that ghosts were drawn to her. Her brown hair was adorable in a cute messy way; her massive cinnamon brown eyes were SUPER adorable, as was her love for flirty skirts and cute tops.  
She took a sip of her tea then pouted realising it was cold. And of course the pout was also adorable.  
In fact, when it came to ghosts, poor little Mai had no chance.

After Ghost #3 gave Ghost #13 a severe 'duffing up', which she explained to her second in command, Ghost #17, was like beating someone up, only for girls, with less punching and more scratching, biting and hair pulling. Obviously she'd never witnessed Bou-san's and Yasuhara's fights before; they really were remarkably like a cat-fight.  
"Alright, so first of all, everyone, I want you on object alert. Just move things around but focus on Mai. Ghost #19, you need to stare at her a lot, whisper sweet nothings into her ear, act like a lover would. Ghost #11, Ghost #19, Ghost #20 and I will all act out an upsetting and traumatising scene in Mai's dreams." Well, no one could say Ghost #3 wasn't organised.

Mai frowned. She was all alone in the base and it was getting colder. You'd have thought, being the self-proclaimed genius that he is, Naru would have realised the stupidity of EVER leaving Mai alone on a case. It was almost a certain fact that something would happen to her.  
Looking around, she spotted a ghost standing in front of her, watching her intently. Within a moment it was gone.  
"Huh?" with that half confused expression. It was an adorable expression-much like every expression she ever wore-with her eyes massive and her head tilted.  
She could have sworn she heard the noise of what sounded like 100 raving Yuki Soma fangirls screaming.  
Shrugging it off, she sat watching the monitors, before slumping onto the table and falling asleep.

Mai was sitting in a lounge room, watching a man and a woman clutching onto each other.  
"Oh Marius! Please! Don't leave me! My father shall surely betroth me to that wicked man!" Exclaimed the woman who looked a lot like Mai herself (minus the adorable-ness) and with longer hair. Mai was confused though. It looked like she was acting in a really bad soap opera.  
"Do not worry my love!" The man-who looked surprisingly like Yasuhara said, clutching the woman's hands in his own. "I could never leave you! Let us run away together!" The man was also over the top.  
"We cannot!" The woman turned her head away. "For he shall find me!"  
"I have found you!" Another man, this time looking like Naru swung the door open. "In the arms of another man! Curse you!" The Naru lookalike pulled out a gun and shot the couple before shooting himself.

Mai shot up looking around.  
"Mai, don't sleep in the daytime." Naru said absent mindedly as he entered the room.  
"You always say that but somehow it's always my dreams that help us out." Mai shot back stretching her arms above her head and arching her back in a way that once again raised her adorably adorableness up another 5 notches, causing another roar of what sounded like fangirls, although decidedly a lot more masculine, causing both Naru and Mai to look around in a confused way.  
"Oooowaaaaag!" Suddenly a figure appeared with a cheesy ghostly moan.  
Naru and Mai stared at the ghost before breaking out in fits of laughter.  
"Is...is...that ghost...wearing a...a...sheet!" Mai gasped and Naru nodded, both still laughing.  
It was true. The 'ghost' was covered in a white sheet with eye holes.  
The ghost frowned beneath the sheet.  
"Shut up!" It whined before disappearing.  
It took a good few minutes for the pair to stop laughing.

"Ghost #13..." Ghost #17 sighed, rubbing his head and frowning. "That wasn't what I told you to do..."  
"T-They laughed at me." Ghost #13 turned wide, sad eyes on her superior, who simply shrugged.  
"Maybe you acted a bit... daft."  
"Stupid more like." Ghost #3 interjected. Hopefully the moving objects will be slightly more terrifying."  
Ghost #13 nodded and pulled her weapon of choice from her pocket.  
"And for goodness' sake give up with the butter knife!"  
Ghost #20, Ghost #11 and Ghost #19 face planted and unanimously decided that helping the others with the object moving would be more fun.

Mai and Naru had recovered (almost) and were sitting together at the base's large table when suddenly a gust of wind blew a piece of paper up at Mai. She batted it away but it came right back, making her pull that adorable face where she closes one eye and pouts.  
Again there was a chorus of fangirl screaming as though Dark the phantom thief had just appeared.  
Naru raised an eyebrow at Mai who scratched her head, causing more fangirl screams.  
The a teddy bear floated over to Mai and sat itself on her lap. Naru frowned and Mai hugged the bear happily, as though it was an everyday occurrence in which random teddies landed neatly on your lap... which, for Mai Taniyama, was probably the case.  
A glass of Brandy moved over to Naru and he politely held up his hand. "Sorry, I don't drink." He muttered, and Ghost #20 quickly apologised and handed him some tea instead, which only seemed to make things worse when Naru sipped it and glared in Ghost#20's general direction. "Your tea tastes worse than my mother's... try again."  
At this point, Ghost #58 was entertaining Mai by wearing Naru's coat and doing the can-can (only the bobbing coat was visible but the other ghosts were singing so she got the general idea) which caused her to clap her hands in time to the singing. "This is a fun haunting." She grinned. "But weren't we here on a holiday?"  
Naru shrugged. "Think of it as personalised service."

**(Lin)- Luella Davis, please stop phoning your son in work hours; he's beginning to show signs of fear whenever the phone rings at work... And no, Mai has ****never stayed the night at the apartment. You really shouldn't ask her for details whenever she answers the phone.**

**(Yasuhara)- Madoka, when will your next visit be? Mai and Naru are beginning to relax... I NEED YOU!! (So does Lin-san but you know how he is... like he'd admit it...)**


	6. The one with dresses and songs

**(Lin)- Martin, Luella and Madoka, It's been a while since we last wrote to you, How's Martin's research, and your latest case? Everything's fine here. This case was just last week and I thought you'd find it particularly... entertaining. Mai and Masako are currently not speaking.**

**(Yasuhara)- At all! I think the footage on my phone, computer, YouTube account and camera will entertain you enormously! I have to say, your son has a marvellous stage presence!**

It was a cold grey day when the van pulled up outside the auditorium. Mai got out and sighed heavily. "It looks dead."

"It's haunted, Mai, and abandoned. Of _course _it looks dead." Masako smirked behind her sleeve.

"Just get inside. The owner said that we can stay the night but he's in Hokkaido on holiday." Naru sighed, pulling his coat out. "We'll set out the futons on the stage."

Bou-san frowned. "You mean _we'll _set the futons out... while _you _stand around with a clipboard looking all important."

Naru blinked. "Of course." And strode past... with his clipboard... and a smirk.

"Ugh. Bastard." Mai cussed, pouting adorably as Masako trotted after the dark haired boy. "Hey! Wait!"

Yasuhara put out a hand and stopped her. Guy's... I have something _really _important to say..."

"Sure..." Bou-san said warily.

Lin rolled his eyes (behind his fringe so no one could see.) "My Shiki are-"

"Go on then."

"I said my Shiki..."

"Ok! Ok... it's something I've never said before so don't rush me!"

Lin sighed and put his hand to his face as Yasuhara opened his mouth with a grin.

"I'm not wearing underwear today,  
No I'm not wearing underwear today  
Not that you probably care  
Much about my underwear  
Still none the less I gotta say  
that I'm not wearing underwear today!"

Mai shouted "Get a Job!"

"Thank you honey!"

There was a silence. "...What was that?" Ayako asked, hand on hip.

"Don't ask me."

"Did anyone else hear the music in the background?"

"Is anyone actually working out here?" Naru asked, leaning against the doorframe in that I'm-too-sexy-for-you way. Lin smirked- finally someone with some –_some-_ sense!

Bou-san scowled. "Just you wait Naru. When my band hits the big time I won't need to bother with all of this, I'm writing one great song before I..." He paused.  
"One song  
Glory  
One song  
Before I go  
Glory  
One song to leave behind  
Find one song  
One last refrain  
Glory  
From the pretty boy front man  
Who wasted opportunity  
One song  
He had the world at his feet  
Glory  
In the eyes of a young girl  
A young girl  
Find glory  
Beyond the cheap coloured lights  
One song  
Before the sun sets  
Glory - on another empty life  
Time flies - time dies  
Glory - One blaze of glory  
One blaze of glory - glory  
Find  
Glory  
In a song that rings true  
Truth like a blazing fire  
An eternal flame  
Find  
One song  
A song about love  
Glory  
From the soul of a young man  
A young man  
Find  
The one song  
Before the virus takes hold  
Glory  
Like a sunset  
One song  
To redeem this empty life  
Time flies  
And then - no need to endure anymore  
Time dies  
(A knock on the door)  
The door."

Naru raised one eyebrow. "Eloquently put." He shut his eyes. "Let's go in then." And was gone into the dark recesses of the opera house.

Of course, once they were inside things just got funner. Yes, funner. It's the only word that accurately describes just how fantastic filming the various members of SPR randomly bursting into song and prancing (Yes, prancing) around the stage.

After the futons were laid out and the computers set up, Naru instructed that Mai and Masako share one of the larger futons since 'they were the smallest' after all, though Lin suspected that after seeing the two fangirls getting it on at the onsen, Naru's hormones were beginning to peek though. But Mai and Masako latched onto Naru's arms and pulled him in two different directions whilst singing "What is this feeling?" from Wicked the musical, featuring a very epic backing chorus provided by Bou-san and Ayako supporting Mai's plight to win the fair*cough* Naru's heart.

Lin sighed and tried to tell them what his Shiki were doing but was ignored, again. (Cue sweatdrop- hidden perfectly by emo-hair)

A short while after Mai and Masako's dramatic musical argument extravaganza Ayako sat down at a grand piano (which no one had noticed earlier) in the centre of the stage and began to sing in a heartbreaking alto.

"Sometimes I wonder where I've been, who I am, Do I fit it in  
Make believing is hard alone  
Out here on my own

We're always proving who we are, always reaching for that rising star  
To guide me far and shine me home  
Out here on my own

WHEN I'M DOWN AND FEELING BLUE  
I CLOSE MY EYES SO I CAN BE WITH YOU  
OH BABY BE SRONG FOR MEBABY BELONG TO ME  
HELP ME THROUGH HELP ME NEED YOU

Until the morning  
Sun appears  
Making light of all my tear I dry the tears I've never shown  
Out here on my own

BUT WHEN I'M DOWN AND FEELING BLUEI CLOSE MY EYES...

Sometimes I wonder where I've been  
who I am, do I fit it in  
I may not win but I can't be thrown  
Out here on my own  
Out here on my own"

Bou-san scratched his cheek thoughtfully. "Was she wearing that dress before?"

"It's very nice." Yasuhara pointed out.

"Sparkly." Mai agreed.

"But..." Bou-san smirked. "Didn't the girl who sang that in Fame... wasn't she meant to be very young?"

WHAM

The mood was ruined as Ayako's stiletto heel collided with Bou-san's temple.

"Right people, we have a job to do." Naru snapped, and Lin sighed.

"Naru, really... My Shiki say that..."

"Hara-san, take the basement with John, and Mai go round with Yasuhara, Ayako and Bou-san."

"Yes sir." They chorused, saluting.

As the group dispersed, Lin muttered darkly. "Might as well be invisible."

Cue. Spotlight. Musical score.

"If someone stood up in a crowd  
And raised his voice up way out loud  
And waved his arm and shook his leg  
You'd notice him

If someone in the movie show  
Yelled "Fire in the second row  
This whole place is a powder keg!"  
You'd notice him

And even without clucking like a hen  
Everyone gets noticed, now and then,  
Unless, of course, that personage should be  
Invisible, inconsequential me!

Cellophane  
Mister Cellophane  
Shoulda been my name  
Mister Cellophane  
'Cause you can look right through me  
Walk right by me  
And never know I'm there...

I tell ya  
Cellophane  
Mister Cellophane  
Shoulda been my name  
Mister Cellophane  
'Cause you can look right through me  
Walk right by me  
And never know I'm there...

Suppose you was a little cat  
residin' in a person's flat  
who fed you fish and scratched your ears?  
You'd notice him

Suppose you was a woman, wed  
And sleepin' in a double bed  
Beside one man, for seven years  
You'd notice him

A human being's made of more than air  
With all that bulk, you're bound to see him there  
Unless that human bein' next to you  
Is unimpressive, undistinguished  
You know who...

Cellophane  
Mister Cellophane  
Shoulda been my name  
Mister Cellophane  
'Cause you can look right through me  
Walk right by me  
And never know I'm there...  
I tell ya  
Cellophane  
Mister Cellophane  
Shoulda been my name  
Mister Cellophane  
'Cause you can look right through me  
Walk right by me  
And never know I'm there  
Never even know I'm there."

He bowed to Naru as the spotlight dimmed.

"Hope I didn't take up too much of your time."

"What?" Naru looked up and Lin shook his head. "Oh, Lin. Watch the monitors."

Silently, Lin tended to his post. Silently, other than the MASSIVLEY evil glare he sent to Naru (hidden by that freaking emo fringe) and muttered curses for pompous brats who don't know how to say please.

Obviously Mai.

The mood didn't improve when John started singing something from Godspell and ended up tripping over his priest robes in embarrassment, after which Naru and Lin watched an amusingly choreographed duet between Ayako and Bou-San which Lin noted was actually "A Whole New World" from Aladdin.

"Well isn't that an interesting turn of events?" Naru smirked. "Everyone seems to be quite caught up in their own little musical numbers."

"Hmm. My Shiki are..."

"You were once my one companion..." Naru sang softly, seemingly distracted by his reflection in one of the blank monitor screens. "You were all that mattered..."

"Phantom of the Opera, Naru? Really?"

"You were once a friend and father... then my world was shattered . . ."

"Is this about Gene? Do you want me to go or..."

"Wishing you were somehow here again . . ." Naru started the chorus and Lin angled a camera towards him. "Wishing you were somehow near . . .  
Sometimes it seemed  
if I just dreamed,  
somehow you would  
be here . . ."

At this point Mai walked in with Yasuhara, since the two had obviously given up on being with the new couple(?) Ayako and Bou-San. Yasuhara grinned and Mai put a hand to her heart as Naru stood up, somehow finding a framed photograph of he and Gene and holding it out in front of him.

"Wishing I could hear your voice again . . .  
knowing that I never would . . .  
Dreaming of you won't help me to do  
all that you dreamed I could . . .  
Passing bells  
and sculpted angels,  
cold and monumental,  
seem, for you,  
the wrong companions -  
you were warm and gentle . . .  
Too many years  
fighting back tears . . .  
Why can't the past  
just die . . .?  
Wishing you were  
somehow here again . . .  
knowing we must  
say goodbye . . .  
Try to forgive . . .  
teach me to live . . .  
give me the strength  
to try . . .  
No more memories,  
no more silent tears . . .  
No more gazing across  
the wasted years . . .  
Help me say  
goodbye..."

Lin cringed in anticipation as Naru began to sing the final line, which went higher than any male voice should reasonably go.

"Help me say goodbye!"

There was an awkward silence as Naru turned to see his spectators staring at him. Glaring at them all, he crossed his arms. "This haunting has gone too far." He stated, and Mai giggled.

"Naru! You're wearing a dress!"

Naru's face darkened impossibly further. "Too... far..."

___

**(Lin-) By the end of the case everyone had sung something, and I think Masako and Mai confessed through song about eight times apiece. Obviously, the two's relationship has worsened considerably as a result, and after the ghost was exorcised (apparently it was an old Theatre owner with a sense of humour) no one mentioned singing again.**

**(Yasuhara-) Thing is... I think Naru kept that dress.**

**(Lin-) Yes. Yes he did.**

**(Yasuhara-) See you next summer Martin, Luella, and Madoka! I've enclosed the recordings for your own personal amusement!**

**(Lin-) Japan out.**


	7. The one where Naru sees the future

**(Lin-) I hope to find you all in good health. Happy Halloween. I am aware that you must have been disappointed that Noll did not visit for your favourite holiday (excluding Christmas, Easter and your Birthdays) but he had an unfortunate experience shortly prior to the time of his intended visit...**

**(Yasuhara-) Unfortunate? It was brilliant! I don't think I've ever seen the boy run so fast... But Luella!!! There's a Ghost Hunt crossover story with Bleach! It basically follows your darling son's ritual humiliation by members of the afterlife! It's written by FionaH93 who is HarunoRin's sister! Have a look! I'm sure you'll love it!**

**(Lin-) (Cough) Anyway... Here's the file. Sorry it's comparatively short, but Naru will be back any moment.**

* * *

"This is the most stupid case that I've ever accepted." Naru folded his arms and sighed. "Remind me, Mai- Why did we accept this?"

"Because I threatened to withhold your tea." The small assistant replied, grinning. "Come on- lighten up! This is practically a vacation!"

"And last time we were on vacation you and Masako ended up closer than usual."

Mai flushed. "Get over your hormones, Naru!" She stormed past him and into the hotel. "How bad can this be? The guy probably ran away so we'll not need to do anything."

Naru sighed. "A man on drugs disappears and then returns telling everyone he's seen the future. This is hardly the talk of a sane man."

"Maybe the break will do you good, Naru." John supplied helpfully. "Besides, the owner has said we can use the facilities as we wish."

"It's a luxury hotel, Naru!" Mai grinned. "I've never been in one before!"

At this the cold teen's heart melted a little. _Just_ a little. "Fine."

"Yay!" Mai and John high-fived and Yasuhara cheered.

* * *

Naru had been relaxing (as much as he can) with a book written by himself, marvelling over the sheer genius it must take to some up with such theories, when there was a flash of light outside.

"Lin?" Naru asked, but when he looked around, his shady assistant was nowhere to be found.

**(Yasuhara-) Actually at that moment our Linny boy was in the swimming pool in bright yellow Speedos. I took photos!**

Curious, Naru stood up and picked up one of the handheld cameras, heading outside to the locked garden shed from where the light had come. Looking around for any other source, he used a little PK to unlock the shed and stepped inside.

Suddenly, the door shut behind him and there was a strange whooping sound as the light flashed over and over.

Suddenly, the ground lurched and he was thrown to the floor, but all else seemed normal. Flicking his beautiful hair out of his eyes, the narcissist stood and opened the door cautiously.

Everything looked normal...

Oh.

Naru's eyes widened.

Actually _widened._

Hell, his eyeballs nearly popped out.

He could see himself, laughing. This 'other Naru' was sitting at a small table with his parents and Mai, laughing at something his father had said.

His _father_. The one who made jokes about chickens and roads.

Suddenly, Lin appeared from inside and smiled at the four, glancing behind him and beckoning someone out.

Out came the monk and Yasuhara... holding hands.

...

As Naru watched, dumbfounded, Takigawa cheerfully announced that the pair was going to get married.

MARRIED.

What the HELL was going on?!

As if he hadn't suffered enough trauma, a small child came and clutched onto 'other Naru's' leg, shouting for Daddy to play.

And 'other Naru' OBLIGED!

Just before Naru passed out, he heard Mai telling Luella Davis how glad she was that the pair had invested in the new treatment that enable men to carry the children during pregnancy instead of the woman.

And then all was blackness.

* * *

Naru practically _threw _himself out of that goddamned shed, dropping the camcorder into Lin's lap before running down the road, having hysterics about gay monks and man-pregnancies.

Needless to say... the video found itself on YouTube not five minutes later.

* * *

**(Yasuhara-) I KNEW Takigawa couldn't resist me!**

**(Lin-) Do you even care that you turn out to be gay? I thought you had a girlfriend?**

**(Yasuhara-) Hey, man. I don't judge. I just love.**


End file.
